Luther at the Movies: Forget About Religion! Get Saved, You Scoundrels!

May 23, 2006

Forget About Religion! Get Saved, You Scoundrels!

Why do they talk about me behind my back as if I wasn't even here! If you want to know what I intended to say when I said what I said when I said it, ASK ME!

Do you think I would profane the memory of Our Lord by impugning His Holiness or insinuating personal sin? If you theological illiterates understood the concept of imputation, you wouldn't be having this discussion! You'd be home making babies for the kingdom of God!

Ach! Only the Aardvark understands!

But you have to love that Mollie Ziegler ... a good Lutheran girl ...

# posted by Luther (Doktor) @ 4:58 PM

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: Name: Luther (Doktor); Location: Eisleben, Saxony, Germany

I was born to a brutish miner father and an equally egregious mother who beat me relentlessly for the smallest of infractions, like fibbing or the Peasants War. I paid them back for their cruelty by ruining their hopes of my ever becoming a lawyer, thus robbing them of discounts on personal-injury lawsuits. Instead I entered an Augustinian monastery at age 21. (The legend about a vow to St. Anne during a thunderstorm is a myth, bordering on legend, around the corner and two doors down from a boldface lie.) While trapped in that sewer of false piety, I was given a revelation that brought me the only relief from a tormented conscience and impacted descending colon I had ever known: I was a cold-blooded sinner and there was nothing I could do but throw myself on the mercy of my God, trusting on the merits of Christ alone! Thus was reborn the mighty doctrine of justification by faith. Although alive in Christ, as far as this vale of tears is concerned, I am currently as dead as Chevy Chase's movie career, though I have not let that interfere with a robust drinking and blogging career.

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Reviews of My Blog!

"He's just too funny—and too Lutheran—to resist."
—Aardvark Alley

"[O]ne of the funniest blogs I've ever read ... If this doesn't win all you thin-blooded Calvinists over, I don't know what will."
—Lars Walker, author ofWolf Time and Year of the Warrior

"Oh my gosh, this is way too funny. I don't know if it would be funny to people who are not Lutheran, but it's freakin' hilarious."
—Runaway Nun

"It's been a while that I have laughed aloud while simply reading something, but such was my reaction to a new Lutheran blog: Luther at the Movies. You simply must check it out. What a scream!"
—Preachrblog

"[J]ust stop everything you're doing and laugh for an extended period of time reading some of Luther's modern day commentaries (this guy might actually be my main man)."
—Hot Lutheran on Lutheran Action

"[I]t's hilarious. I hardly ever laugh out loud while reading something anymore—only when reading Twain, Terry Pratchett, or this guy."
—Stormfield Manor

"It is basically hilarious."
—Ora et Labora

"This is one of the funniest sites I have ever visited ... I laughed so hard I cried."
—The Wittenberg Catholic

"Martin Luther is back and he's writing from somewhere between Heaven and Hell (certainly NOT Purgatory). Pop culture is certain to renounce its many grave errors under the withering glare of HerrDoktorProfessor Luther. The Reformation of manners is nigh!" —Hunter Baker, contributing editor for Salvo magazine and blogger for the American Spectator and Redstate.com blogs

I Have a Golden Aardie!

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All material contained herein, hereon, and hereforth, and other noxious legalisms, is written by the owner of this blog (all rights reserved now and forever!) unless otherwise noted. Please retain full copyright, URL, and author information when downloading and/or forwarding this material. This site is intended for entertainment and nonprofit purposes only. Spiritual edification should be attained at your local Lutheran house of worship, assuming it is not pastored by a lunatic who prattles on about how The Crucified wants you to have a nice car, and its liturgy does not resemble an episode of American Idol. If anyone seeks to profit financially from my work, I will pummel him until death itself screams for mercy! Have a nice day.

Luther at the Movies